Write a 300 word satirical post. Your satire must ridicule a
topic for the purpose of change. Decide if the tone will be humorous or
biting. Regardless, a good tip is to write in a tone that suggests you
support what it is that you are trying to ridicule (see Swift’s or
Burton’s two very different “Modest Proposal(s)”). Include at least one example of parallelism, underlined.
Yesterday was truly a tumultuous day for any upstanding
citizen shopping in the Byward Market, as passersby stared in horror as
two people – one a Liberal, the other a Conservative – engaged in polite
conversation. Witnesses were reportedly in a panic, with one going so
far as to say that “[he] nearly passed out from the shock!” According to
news reporter Stan “The Man” Manning, who was on the scene at the time,
a few actually did.
“They were just sitting there – at the table –
sipping coffee and nibbling on scones,” said a witness named Pan A.
Disco during an interview. “Everything seemed fine at first – they were
talking about the weather, sharing their mutual love of hockey and
hatred of curling, you know, that sort of thing – but then their
conversation started turning…suspicious.”
Asked to elaborate, Disco told us the following: “Well,
see, when talking about hockey it was discovered that one was a fan of
the Ottawa Senators, and the other a fan of the Toronto Maple Leafs.
Instead of flipping tables and getting into a brawl like reasonable
people though, they just said ‘huh, interesting,’ and moved on! Now, by
this point I probably should have left, but I was too dang curious, so I
continued to listen.
It was then that I witnessed the conversation turn
to politics, and I discovered that one was a Liberal and the other a
Conservative but, to my horror, they engaged in thoughtful debate! They
debated about abortion, political correctness, the role of religion in
politics, climate change, immigration, globalization, and not once – not once
– did either of them make wild accusations or throw insults! It was
then that I heard those dreaded words: ‘let’s agree to disagree.’ I
decided to book it at that point, and I didn’t look back.”
Although this phenomenon is relatively rare, it has been
known to happen even online, with studies showing that up to 5% of
internet arguments might be posted without someone calling someone else a
“libtard SJW cuck” or a “bigoted Nazi pig.”
Stay tuned for more updates.
Word Count: 347
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